What matters is what they do about them.
Do they sit and stew in them? Or do they try to make themselves better through them?
I think I've been so caught up in trying to just FIND someone perfect that I'm missing a lot of what is in front of me. Yeah, life can suck, but it's what you make of it. And especially through the Lord, you can make your biggest weaknesses your strengths. I'm meeting more people that are doing this for their lives every day. It really give me hope for people, and for myself. I'm learning to love people for who they are, not what they've done. Sure, what they've done affects who they are, but what kind of progress, if any, have they made in fixing it and righting their wrongs?
"Time turns flames to embers,
You'll have new Septembers,
Everyone of us has messed up too.
Lives change like the weather,
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to be brand new."
-Taylor Swift
I dunno. I am just trying to figure things out. Where do I go from here? It seems that I need to get out of the ideal "perfect guy" syndrome. It doesn't matter if he's perfect---but is he perfect for me, is he perfect in my eyes. That is what really matters, right? And honestly, I've met someone that I really like. Like, a lot. And he's looking pretty good through my eyes right now. I'm not tryin' to rush, and that is something that won't happen, but I'm just happy getting to know him and learning more about him and his life. So far, I'd say we're pretty good for each other.
I'm worried about my past though. But we'll just worry about that bridge when we cross it.
I can't help but be scared when I start to get close to guys now. The past few have screwed me over, unintentionally or not, and it just kinda sucks. I am always in weird situations where either he leaves, or is just not available at that current time--which pushes me forward. I have been so discouraged and down trodden...feeling like I have nothing to offer. It reminds me of this picture I saw once of a stick figure with a broken heart with band-aids and tape in it's hands and it says "Here's my heart...you can have it if you want; it's a little broken and rusty, but I think it still works." That is how I've felt. I've band-aided and taped my heart loads of times, and after this past summer, I even used super glue. It was marvelous haha. But I've kept going, despite my fears of being hurt again. I'm trying. I don't want to look back and wish I had done anything different. I want to look back and say "Yeah, I went through a lot, but you know? I don't regret anything. It's made me who I am today." Because that is exactly what all of this stuff going on around me is doing. It's making me the person that Heavenly Father has always intended for me to be. All of our trials and tribulations are doing just that.
So here I am again; jumping. :)
"To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It is not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again, even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Moving on and being alright, that's fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless."
-Taylor Swift again. Sorry, I just love her.
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