Learning.

I am trying really hard not to compare things and let the past go. But, when dealing with the same thing for so long, the lies, the feeling of being betrayed, doubting everything, and just sitting and wondering if it's even worth all those things and talking yourself into the idea that it is....it's hard to move from that. Moving on is one thing, but trying not to act like how you did previously with the other person is a lot different. I'm so used to how things were with one person that now that I have a potential new person, I'm having problems not freaking out and wondering if I'm being lied to.

Now, this new person wouldn't do that. They told me straight up front to my face that they wouldn't do that or be a jerk to me. And ya know, I very highly doubt that they would. From what I've seen, this kid is freaking awesome. But I've also turned into someone that doesn't fully trust until they prove that I should trust them. Blah!

I know I have to learn to just let it go and let things happen as they happen. And I'm really trying! But thoughts just come to my mind and I just wonder. I'm just assuming that things aren't going to go my way and I'm making myself feel like crap. I need to stop it! It's not even like anything is serious! But the thoughts still come. How should I fix it? How do I try to change this? Why am I acting this way? HOW DO I STOP?!

I'm learning. Slowly, but surely, learning.

I feel like I'm going crazy. But I swear I'm not! It's just hard to change something you adapted to and made into a habit.

Wahhh.