Anxiety.

I have a new respect for people that have suffered from anxiety. Because this anxiety stuff that's going on is really screwing with me. I don't know what to do. I just feel so messed up. I almost feel bi-polar about specific things. And then I'm second guessing and doubting other things. I keep getting this feeling that people that are the closest to me are betraying me. And that's a feeling that I need to get rid of. But I really don't know how...I've had it for so long about past experiences. All I can do is take people's "word for it" and just trust them...but why is it so hard for me to do that right now?

It doesn't help that I'm feeling really alone with certain things going on in my life right now. The few people that I really want to talk to, I haven't talked to as much recently. Just that alone is really freaking me out. I feel scared a lot. Like I'm losing people I care about. Distance scares the tar out of me. :/

I'm trying my hardest to do what I need to and be me. I feel like I'm losing myself, and I want ME back.

But I'm not letting this take over my life. I'm going to fight it and win.

....I have lots of work to do this summer.