1. I'm going to FREAK out and leave early or get really mad and just not say anything.
2. I'm going to be nice and just leave it at "hey."
3. I'm going to be able to have a decent conversation without unleashing the wrath on them.
4. I'm going to flip out on someone.
And another thing that is bothering me...
Where the EFF do we go from here?!
I didn't do anything wrong, so why do I feel like I have to fix it? Here's why:
It's because I'm so nice and I hate confrontation. I always have. I want to uphold the reputation I have to those around me. I try to be nice to everyone and if you do me or my closest friends/family wrong, don't expect me to be making much of an effort to fix things when you're the one that screwed up. And if you don't care that much or you just don't wanna put forth the effort to prove to me that you won't do anything like that again, it's your loss.
I'm tired of being the doormat. I'm tired of people just screwing me over like "Oh, it's just Yiselle. She'll be fine." Yeah, okay. Some friends.
So I'm standing up for myself on this one. I'm standing my ground. This was wrong.
I'm really working on forgiving and trying to forget, but it's hard when you know you'll be getting reminders all the time of how messed up something is. & I'm already getting them. :-/
And another thing...
What do you do when you can't trust your best friend? When they've done you wrong in such a terrible way?
My patriarchal blessing says to be "quick to forgive and slow to take offense". Um, does this count? Because honestly, I'm really struggling with this one.
This is so frustrating.
I feel like I'm fighting myself. Sometimes I'm like "Well, I guess it was supposed to happen anyway, as far as the big picture is concerned. Oh well." and then sometimes I'm like "Well eff this. And all the people involved. I can't believe this."
Not fun. Not fun at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment