Venting...?

Well, where do I start?
The past couple of weeks have been...well...hell. Pretty much.
School's been ridiculous.
I've been missing home a lot.
I'm stressed like no one's business.
I'm getting acne! >:[ (that NEVER happens. Ever. EV.ER.)
There are a couple things I'd like to get off my chest. I really don't care who reads this at this point. Writing about it might make me feel better....
But this past week and a half or so has been especially hard. Mostly because the person I'm closest to, the person I hold closest to my heart, the person that knows me better than I myself, the very person I talk to every single day, all day...left. For a mission for 2 years. (Now, don't get me wrong, him leaving is SUCH a good thing. There seriously is nothing else I'd rather him do for 2 years than serve the Lord. But I'll go on about how proud I am of him later....) And I had no way to spend much time with him at all, because I'm at school. It's different when you're not in school, have a car to travel with, or you live close by...it's easier to see people. That's not the case for me. It hasn't been since I've been at school. Freshman year especially. There were so many times I just longed to go home so I could see my family and my best friend. I have seriously never felt so helpless in my entire life.
And some people liked to take advantage of me not being able to see him. It really hurts when you know people don't like you (for no apparent reason) & like to brag about how much they get to see someone that you miss, KNOWING you can't be there. Especially when you just wish with every fiber of your being you could be there for big moments in their life. It sucks when people close to your best friend don't like you, and it keeps you from spending time with that person. It sucks when someone turns people against you when you didn't deserve it. When you've never had any intentions to interfere with any thing or any relationship. It just sucks, & it hurts. I've been abused in such a way that even the mention of certain people's names make me sick, literally. It surprises me how careless and selfish people are.
But you know what? I've prevailed. I've stood my ground. I've made absolutely sure that my place in my best friend's life is there, whether people want it to be or not. I absolutely REFUSE to let anyone make me feel inferior. They don't know me. They've never had the courtesy of even talking to me. How dare they judge my character and personality. How. Dare. They. I've worked my butt off to change my bad reputation certain people gave me to important people in his life in the beginning. & I can only hope that I've made a difference in their views of me.
Maybe I'm just venting. I dunno. But what I do know, is this:
I have never been more proud of someone in my entire life.
This new thing, my best friend being gone, is going to be so strange for a while. It's going to take time to get used to. People will never know the kind of impact that this person has on me. People don't know what my life has been like. It hasn't been bad, but it hasn't been a walk in the park, either. I've finally found someone that could seriously relate & do things I never thought anyone my age would ever try to do.
He always strives for his best. Always. And he never disappoints. I have now tried to pick up that habit. To do my best always.
He's the most hardworking individual I've ever met. Which I realized soon after meeting him, is something very important in life.
He tries to fix his mistakes as soon as he makes them.
He's never quick to judge others for their mistakes. He always takes the high road.
He has overcome the most traumatic things. I know, if it were me, I definitely would NOT be where I am right now if I had gone through anything NEAR what he's gone through. I'm in awe and amazement at how well he's handled things and how determined he is to fix things that are wrong.
He's overcome it all. And he's on his mission right now. After all the crap he's been through, he's finally there at the MTC. Off to help other people overcome their demons. Tears of joy fill my eyes as I write this. I am going to miss this person more than anything. Seriously. People don't understand our relationship, and that's fine with me. I don't care anymore. If you hate me because I'm in this person's life, then shame on you. He's changed my life for the better. He's shown me so many things that I never realized were there. He's helped me discover things I need, without ever realizing I needed them. He's been the best friend to me. I've seen him grow up a lot in the short 15 months I've known him. & I am so proud of him.
No one could ever try to take that away from me. Ever. I dare you to try. It won't happen. No matter how many times you try to brag that I wasn't there for him. I was. No matter how many times you try to knock me down and make me feel inferior because you're closer. Getting up and brushing myself off is as easy as tying my shoelaces at this point. No matter how much you rub it in my face, I can't care anymore. I simply can't. Because you know what? I'm only worried about my best friend & his decision to do something greater than any of us could ever do. & for that, I am inspired to be a better person, to do better in my life while he's gone, and to make a difference in people's lives as he has in mine.
I love him more than anything.
& I couldn't be more proud.