Angry :/

I've been filled with anger today. More than usual as of recently.

I just want to unleash and lash out on someone. I want to just yell and scream and tell all of my internal thoughts to a few people. Thoughts that I've kept in. Thoughts that I know will make them truly realize what's up and how it is. Thoughts that could make them feel the lowest they've ever felt. That's just how angry I am.

And because of this, and me trying to be the better person (as usual. It gets old.), I'm keeping my phone away from me.

My patriarchal blessing keeps holding true.

"Though there may be times when you will not understand the value of your good choices...the effort you expend in lifting up others will not be wasted."

I'm trying my hardest to do what I know I should do. What I know the Lord wants me to do. This is really hard. After the hell I've been through... I don't know if you know how hard this really is. I don't like to feel like this, and I normally just block it out and try to be positive. But today is my "break" from that, I think. I'm just going to let it out in writing and just go at it in my journal. Verbally abusing something or someone is just so tempting right now. I'm sure I'll feel better after I write it out.

The more I think about it...

I'm beginning to realize that I can only trust myself. And a (very limited) select few others.

I'm changing a few things, that's for sure.